Narrative ideas:

As the final stage of my research and planning, I am going to consider some feedback I received after posting my Animatic video onto the blog. The comments I received included:

-          A problem based on why emotional redemption is achieved. A lack of visual illustration was believed to be in my video so the narrative didn’t make sense.

-          Another issue involving visual illustration was how the song consists of the man sitting there without any movement. It was claimed to appear boring. The suggestion being a more interesting way of getting the man in the video (me) to speak during the lyrics being played while drunk on the floor. Possibly with the girlfriend crying because she seen me in the house in a drunken state. This was considered to be a solution.

-          A problem was raised in the locations used, as well as high I was going to make the scenery AKA my house fulfil its intent to be messy and damaged to create illustration towards the narrative.

The problem was raised that the music video does not make it clear as to why emotional redemption was achieved. It seems that the man suddenly becomes happy, because the video gives no clear indication why the character has become happier. It just happens naturally.

In response, I defend that the video does supply a certain amount of narrative content and illustration to give out the reason as to why the man becomes happier. In my video, as the 2^nd verse ends, the man looks at an image of his girlfriend. This was not demonstrated very clearly in the Animatic, as my drawing skills are poor. The way in which it is evident that the girl is his ex-girlfriend is by the relation of the illustration, and visual events occurring, to the lyrics of the song themselves. E.g. the line ‘could you stand another drink’ is related to my added narrative of the man in the video walking home drunk. In this case, the line ‘do you wanna spin another line, like we had a good time’ if perhaps the best indicator of a relationship crisis. The original Proof video included this line also, and the facial expressions, combined with the content of the lyrics, provided the implication that the man in that video, played by Chris Eccleston, had just been part of and ended a relationship, and was depressed until he achieved emotional redemption. In my case, my added narrative and illustration of the man walking home drunk, being depressed through verses 1 and 2, and now holding an image of a girl his image shortly after those meaningful lyrics played, overall, at least strongly imply that he has been in a relationship and the source of his depression of his loss of that girlfriend. The end montage of the video of his memories with the girl, such as walking with her away from the camera, will further send this implication to the audience. The shots of the man’s memories in the end collage will be identifiable via the stereotypical editing patterns inserted onto those certain shots so that the memory shots appear black and white. Furthermore, the original Proof video did not visually make it clear why the man suddenly got happier either, but the lyrics in relation to facial expressions sent the message very well. With my added narrative, the meaning and strength of this message will only be more significant.

The second narrative issue revolves around how there is a lack of visual interest in certain parts of the video, such s the main close-up shots of my face playing during verses. The suggested alternative being that I sing during the shots, while on the floor, lying down, suffering from a hangover type of condition mixed with visual depression.

In response, while this certainly provides more illustration to the video in places where it is probably needed, this suggestion does not sound like it will work. Since the objective is to make my music video appeal to its intended target audience of soft rock young adults, who are not necessarily educated with vast media knowledge, this approach does not seem appropriate. Keep in mind that to media teacher, experts, and even student, this idea would be preferable. Particular media experts would understand the use of improved illustration in this suggested idea and would be appealed by its usage far more than anyone else. But since my target audience does not necessarily consist of media experts with high amounts of media knowledge that a college teacher would have, the use of this idea would probably not make the video appeal to them. An approach involving the man (me) lying on the floor while singing to the music would probably appear to be somewhat ridiculous and would not interest them in the video at all. However, this does not mean to say I don’t intend to consider this feedback at all. I did look at my Animatic, and it is clear that the fact remains valid that the illustration becomes unnecessarily dull and inactive during certain parts of the video. I do now intend to reflect on this advice and change the parts of the video that contain a lack of visual events, mainly during the actual playing of the verses. Perhaps added use of camera movements, or even new shots, maybe necessary to consider, for instance. Some decision will be made further along in the production of my music video. Most of my footage is original, so flexibility in change and improvements is not a problem.

It has been argued that in my location shots, the rooms and places used look too clean, and to really capture the image I want, I really have to trash up my living room beyond the placement of a spilt beer bottle, etc…

This is a valid point to consider. While my location shots were obviously taken when the locations were not set up and ready for filming, it still seems that the overall appearance of the house does not help me to send the message to the audience that the man in the video is a depressed, drunken wreck who is destroying his life around him at the start of the video.one suggestion was, for the inclusion of the messy shirt I will wear in the video, I should get a cheap Primark shirt and gradually ruin it for the filming. This is what I intend to do as well. Another suggestion is to use other props to mess up the living room such as messy clothes, destroyed objects and furniture, etc… this is another consideration for me.